Narrative Responsibility

Your Discomfort Zone

Ever heard the phrase "get out of your comfort zone" and just felt something in you just tense up with rejection at the thought of doing even more than you already are? Maybe your discomfort zone isn't about doing more, but rather about doing less. Let's examine what conditions inside the environment of your own body that you've normalized, and see if they are, in fact, optimal conditions for growth. 

Our Two Selves

If we're gonna talk about letting go of copes, we gotta talk about why we were doing them in the first place. Which means looking at the schism between our "self that acts" - our conscious, egoic self - and our "self that is," the gentle body self that has to come along for the ride with whatever our action-self chooses. The body: your original ride or die. Who knew?

Sober Curious

When was the last time you critically examined your relationship with alcohol - or any other substance - and considered sobriety? Pull up a chair for storytime as I walk you through my journey of being sober-curious for most of the past two years. I share what I've observed in myself and American culture, what I've learned helps to reinforce the decision to abstain, and what I've decided about alcohol's place in my toolbox of coping mechanisms. 

Breaking the Habit of Comfort Eating

Part two on the topic of comfort eating, or emotional eating. This is the section with practical action steps for using the coping mechanism of comfort eating in a way that serves you better, finding other tools that you can use instead, and some of the specific dynamics you can watch for in your own body if you're still not convinced comfort eating is a problem. 

On Comfort Eating

Comfort eating - or emotional eating - is a means of soothing ourselves in times of distress. But it can quickly turn into a habit, or even an addiction, that wreaks havoc on our physical health long-term. How does it get started? Why does it persist? And, really, what IS so bad about it? This is part one of a two-episode arc on this issue!

Talent Vs. Skill

My most controversial opinion: talent does not actually exist. What we call "talent" is higher than expected skill development at a task or higher than average capacity for an underlying cognitive function. This is a distinction worth making when our cultural narratives of talent as innate and fixed can inspire or deter someone from pursuing a goal.

No Experience Is Ever Wasted

Every experience that we have can be judged as good/bad, worthy/unworthy of the coin of time we spent on it...or it can be viewed more neutrally, simply as a resource. A resource for what? Skill-building, discernment, wisdom, character.... We can even think in terms of our RPG character levels, and consider what experience points we might be able to gain from something we lived through. Let's talk about what we can do with what the DM of our life - whether our past self or the universe - gives us to work with!

Feature Vs. Bug: Calculating Relational Needs With MBTI

Our psychological type - our MBTI type preferences - has a profound impact on our relational needs and capacities. That is, how we tend to want to be related to in order to feel acceptance, connection, and intimacy with other people, and what we have a lot of energy for doing with other people to meet their needs. Let's unpack the eight Jungian functions' relational needs and consider whether we're describing features or bugs in the operating systems of ourself and those around us!

Type As a Lawful Neutral Narrative

When two people look at the same situation and come to different conclusions about what ought to be done, each of them can easily read the worst into the other's perspective. And Western culture encourages a binary right/wrong mentality. Psychological type provides and alternate narrative that allows you to ask what else might be going on. It functions as a "lawful neutral" story that describes rather than judges both sides and offers principles and ordering that apply across situations.

Your Best Life

Are you living your best life? That question is a personal development mainstay. But what does it really mean - and is it really the best question to be asking yourself as a guide to living well?